By Telephone:    01763 250749    07879 698541

We are a small company, and the office is not always manned* – at such times please leave a message.  If you are polite, brief & clear we will get back to you.  A phone number would also help… *Or womanned / personned if you are short of things to worry about.


By e-Mail:     Please send to: ‘contact’ or first name

Please note we are currently being inundated with requests for bank details and marriage vows, so please bear with us – we aim to to treat all scammers equally.  We will require a VAT receipt though.


By Post:

I Am Trying To Sell Something 
Royston Fine Ales Limited
Buntingford Brewery
Therfield Road


By Carrier Pigeon:

We can now receive mail by Carrier Pigeon or, for heavier or bulky items, by Overnight Crow.  Polar Bear / Migrating Walrus Pallet Haulage by request only during the season.

A Carrier Pigeon Undergoing A Job Review


Please write to ‘The Person Nearest The Bin’, at the above address.  On receipt, we will drop everything, launch a full public enquiry, sack the nearest replaceable oik, re-write 4,000 volumes of procedure, introduce new laws, and proclaim it will never happen again.  Or, if we deem it a proper response, bugger off down the pub – a place where all problems, except self-importance & greed, can be resolved – and bemoan the general lack of Gene Hunt on the telly.



Obviously it would be a shame if we could keep any profits to ourselves after funding via tax all those state-funded ‘charities’ that campaign to stop us all from drinking, using salt or indeed attempting to just run our own lives.  So please feel free to expect us to give stuff away willy-nilly for you to sell on Ebay. Of course if you are from one of those charities that the state views as so worthless that you have to ask  the public for funds – such as Air Ambulances, Injured Soldiers, Distressed Brewers etc – then please feel free to ask.  We may even say yes.